At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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