Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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