What a fucking waste of an outfit
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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