peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think a kid would responsible me up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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