everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
