if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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