the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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