You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
