Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
