Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
