In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
