Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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