First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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