I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
