did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
