I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
