Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
