I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
