We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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