apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
