everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
