Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
