My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
