Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
