If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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