I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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