I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
