I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think my moral compass just broke
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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