Do vagina's smell?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
