i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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