I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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