...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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