are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
