he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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