I accidentally had phone sex last night
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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