i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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