what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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