I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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