is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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