If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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