Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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