At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
