How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
