You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
