Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
