I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
