Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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