Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
