I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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