If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have aggressive nipples.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
